Letting Go

Believe it or not, I am kind of a stubborn person (I know, me, stubborn?!). I am especially stubborn when it comes to scheduling. I will get a time, date, idea or some such thing in my head – and that’s how it has to go – that’s the plan. When something happens to upset that plan, I have a hard time letting go. The funny thing is that it doesn’t matter if it’s a big plan or a little plan. If we say we’re leaving at 5 to go get ice cream – we had better leave at 5! 5:02 is too late!

Recently, a lot of our plans have been turned upside down. There was the plan for how long Scott would work at Kohl’s, the plan for when he would be leaving, the plan of joining the Army, the plan for when we would start a family, the plan for when we would move away…a lot of plans! And all of these plans changed on Wednesday when Scott had surgery (okay, they changed before that, surgery just made it all very real).

I have to be honest when I tell you that it hasn’t been easy letting go. It feels like we are letting go of some of the biggest dreams we’ve ever had. I’ve shed a lot of tears, and will probably shed some more before this is all over. However, I also know in my heart that God has not asked us to abandon our dreams – he has just postponed them for a little while. Maybe he’ll allow us to live our dreams someday, or maybe he’ll give us some new dreams to replace the ones that have been put on hold.

Until we figure that out, I will continue practicing (and sometimes failing) how to let go. 

-Sarah